Honestly, my mind has been on my friend Drew and his challenges, and it has been hard to focus on writing a business related post over the last couple weeks. I felt guilty about that, and in my efforts to catch up stumbled upon a post called “Three things that sound bad but can actually be good for you.” It resonated with me.
Often we tend to categorize all things as either “good” or “bad”. But in reality, it is the nuance, colored by context, which is the real definition of most things.
Edberg outlines three things that we’ve been taught to think of as bad, which in certain contexts are actually good for us.
1. Selfishness. It’s rarely seen as a positive thing. It fills your head with images of greedy and soulless types like Montgomery Burns or Gordon Gekko. Yet one’s own personal development can be considered selfish in a way. You are trying to make yourself and your life better. But the funny thing is that by focusing on helping yourself first, you can become stronger…better preparing you to help others in a better way too.
If you only focus on other people --- and never yourself --- you risk burn-out. People may take advantage of you if you don’t set limits or boundaries.
Selfishness and helping others often go hand in hand. My own selfish wish to see my son in California prompted me to plan a trip, which then provided me an opportunity to personally visit my good friend just at his most critical time of need. Coincidence? Perhaps. But because I focused on my own short-term needs, I was able to give back to another.
2. Laziness. Being lazy isn’t always bad. Being lazy about stuff that is irrelevant or simply not that important will help you free up your time, and minimize unnecessary stress. Getting the most stuff done isn’t always the best option. Getting the most important things done will improve your life and the world you live in the most. Manage your inbox, and pressing matters against your desire for increased social networking and inconsequential matters to balance your life.
Channel your laziness (now that’s an oxymoron!) to come up with ideas on how to simplify your life’s routine. Sometimes rationalization is just that: The most rational way of coming up with a solution.
3. Ruthlessness. A little ruthlessness, applied in the proper amount, in the proper context, can be a good thing as well. Sometimes you just need to be tenacious and direct in order to resolve an issue or take something to the next step.
Using Drew’s situation as an example again, his wife Mary shared with me that she was frustrated that the doctors didn’t seem to see the arc of Drew’s condition and treatments, so she assembled a spreadsheet and timeline of his treatment, vitals, and response. This data should have been easily available, but because there were three hospitals and numerous doctors involved, this was not the case. Her layman’s snapshot allowed the neurosurgeon to fine-tune his treatment procedure, addressing specific steps that had not yet been tried. Improvement was shown within a few days. Mary was ruthless in her message, and it appears to have worked.
Our Mothers taught us that selfishness, laziness, and ruthlessness was bad. But realize that selfishness can help you do good; laziness can help you balance your life; and being ruthless can help turn a bad situation around.
Its your call if you want to give her this message directly.
“It is neither good nor bad, but thinking makes it so.” --- William Shakespeare
PS: Although Drew’s ETV procedure did not produce the miracle recovery we hoped for, he has shown improvement over the past week, and will shortly be transferred from Stanford back to the rehabilitation hospital where he can concentrate on regaining his physical faculties. Thank you for all the notes and calls of concern for Drew. I have passed them along to his wife to show to him as he recovers.